Alone time as parents

As parents we are very busy people. Between children, work and social commitments most of us will struggle to find time to be alone. However, science shows that alone time is highly beneficial for our mental wellbeing. So, if you’re a busy parent you should spend some time on your own to better manage and reduce your parental stress. And the busier you are, the more likely you are to benefit from some reflective time alone.

According to research people who like to spend time on their own experience less anxiety and depression, as being alone builds your mental strength. Being on your own is linked to increased happiness and life satisfaction as well as better stress management. There are many specific benefits that alone time provides.

Spending time on your own increases overall empathetic behaviour, as we are less influenced by social group think and therefore more compassionate towards people that are outside of our normal social circles. It also makes us more empathetic towards our loved ones including our children and family.

Being alone also enables you to find more creative solutions to problems as your brain gets the opportunity to wonder, exploring different thoughts and new mental pathways. You can thus shift your mindset towards better solutions for you and your children.

When you spend time alone you are showing your children that this is a normal and healthy thing to do. Research suggests that children who have learned to be by themselves are more balanced, calmer and overall better behaved. Alone time can reduce behavioural problems in children. When you take out time for yourself you are also providing a good role model for your children, showing them the benefits of having time for yourself.

Time of solitude gives you the opportunity to reflect on your purpose and plan your life. You can think about goals, what you want to achieve for your children and yourself, changes you want to make and the progress you are making towards your goals. We plan so many things, from holidays to birthdays, but often spend little time to plan our own lives and futures. Spending time on your own enables you to reflect on the larger things in life.

Being on your own is also an opportunity to practice gratefulness. You can reflect on the good things about your life, your children and your family, but also on small, nice things that happened on the day or the day before.

When you spend time on your own you can be honest with yourself and make choices without being directly influenced by others. The creativity and opportunity for reflection that solitude can bring enable you to make more authentic choices about your life that align with your values and purpose.

So, reserve a few minutes each day for reflection on your own. You can combine this with mindfulness practice. In addition, try longer periods of alone time once a week or every other week.  This can be a couple of hours or even a whole day. Carving out that quiet time for yourself can help you to become the best parent you can be.

How can you as a busy parent justify taking time for yourself? Firstly, you need to change your mindset and accept that time for yourself is not a luxury but a necessity for maintaining your parental mental health and wellbeing. If you are exhausted and stressed, you will find it difficult to provide the love and affection towards your children and others. Secondly, you need to plan and schedule your alone time so that it becomes part of your life routine.

Spending time on your own is not a luxury but a necessity to become the best parent you can be. Alone time is good for your mental health and helps you to better cope with parental stress and anxiety.

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