Becoming a parent often leads to an identity crisis. When you were a couple, you had your social life and me-time. All that changes with the arrival of a child. The caring for your child is now controlling your life. Your child’s needs are equal or above your own. Your daily routine is focused on the wellbeing of your child 24/7. In particular for mothers your old identity disappears and you need to adapt to your new situation as a parent. Here are three actions you can take to build your new identity as a parent:
- Be grateful about your new role as a parent. Yes, there will be a lot of moments during the day when you will get annoyed with being a parent: More washing, cooking, caring and responsibility; less freedom, me-time, sleep, socialising and sex. But there is the unconditional love for your child and there will be many wonderful moments such as holding and cuddling your child as well as your child’s smile that will more than make up for it.
- Find new ways of socialising. Instead of nights out or coffee dates, have playdates or monthly book clubs. Instead of restaurants and movies try the park or a local playground.
- Practice mindfulness. Do a morning meditation using breathing and gratefulness. Think about three things that make you grateful about your live and being a parent. This can be big things like the unconditional love for your child or small things like a smile from your child. It is scientifically proven that mindfulness improves your mental and physical health. Try to carve out five to ten minutes in the morning for your mindfulness meditation.
It may take some time but with the help of these actions you can rebuild your identity as a parent.
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