Parenting can often be complex, confusing and leave you wondering if you are up to ‘the job’. As we are starting to understand what is involved, we can easily feel overwhelmed and not suitable or qualified for being the parent we want to be. And while parenting is all about the wellbeing of the children it is important not to forget about the wellbeing of the parents. Being overwhelmed, anxious and frustrated will negatively affect your parenting and the wellbeing of your children. You therefore need to embrace the concept of ‘self-compassion’.
Self-compassion means holding yourself in warm regard and being supportive of yourself in difficult times of struggling and suffering. As parents we can easily become overly self-critical and judgmental about our everyday actions. That is exhausting and does not improve any situation. Self-compassion can support you throughout the daily task of your parenting.
You can approach self-compassion from three different angles. First, you need to be kind to yourself and allow for the fact that neither you nor anybody else is the perfect parent. You need to be able to forgive yourself for the unavoidable mistakes you are likely to make as a parent.
Then there is the understanding of the common solidarity feeling that you are not alone in this. Other parents grapple with the same issues and make the same mistakes you are making. Making parenting mistakes is human and not a reason to beat yourself up.
And finally, be more mindful about your parenting. Observe and experience difficult situations before jumping to conclusions and into quick problem solving activities. Mindfulness can help you to be calmer and more measured in dealing with difficult parenting situations.
Self-compassion can help you to forgive yourself for not being the perfect parent but to be the best parent you can be.
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